the night at the campus

it's 3 am and i'm still awake. not really insomniac. but it seems that light and sound confuse my biologic clock of sleep-awake cycle. right now, i'm at campus, spending my night. the entire night. one of the reasons is that tomorrow's a holiday. the other is i just don't feel like going home tonight for no particular reason.

this spending-night thing is not new to me. but it's the first one
since couple of years ago. i used to sleep at campus for several student-organizational-related reasons. and then gave up because i think i'm too old for that.

but tonight, i'm re-living those glorious nights. the insomniac.
the loud noises. the cups of coffee and tea. the staying-up until morning. the smoke. well, i don't smoke. i mean, most of the guys here are smoking. so, it would be a very smoky environment. and don't forget the runny nose like i'm having right now. the kind of that won't stop until the sun rises. you see, i have this kind of weird relationship with cold temperature. sometimes i'm just okey. other times i'd have runny nose. and it's not like i don't see it coming, but i just sometimes forget about it. when actually i WILL get runny nose if i'm still awake at three in the morning when the temperature is at the lowest.

among all of that, i consider this night as a reminder of the life
i used to live (and boy how good that was!) and how much i've matured and grown ever since. the conclusion is: i am not that changed and better since i've left this habit. i've changed of course, but not in the speed it's supposed to be. it's much slower than it should be, compares to most of my friends. and i don't think i can hide behind the answer i'm-enjoying-my-clerkship-and-i'm-not-rushing-time anymore.

my time is up.


this whole night serves both as a reminder night of to what i've been before and reviving night
since this whole academic thing has consumed my mood, energy and mind.

that and because i don't get laid that often (oops!).

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