doing more

one or two years ago sy merasa iri sm temen2 yg udah PTT, skolah lagi dan melanglang buana kemana2. they have finished their chapter of life called college and moved on to another chapter, smentara sy waktu itu masih berkeliaran d RS, luntang-lantung jadi koas.

so here i am now. doing exactly what i've wanted to do since a couple of years back. doing something useful for the people. seharusnya sy udah puas dong krn udah membuka bab baru dlm kehidupan sy dan bisa smpe d posisi skrg ini, sudah bisa berbakti dan mengabdi pada negeri ini, sdh menjalankan peran sy membatu meningkatkan derajat kesehatan masyarakat d republik ini.

but i'm not. sy belum puas!

oke lah, this PTT job is far from fame and glory. it has more downs than ups. and the important thing is this is what i've wanted to do back then: giving back to the people.

tapi skali lagi: saya belum puas.

i want more. dan ketidakpuasan ini sm skali tidak berhubungan dengan fame and glory.

saya belum puas because i want to do more for the people. sy bisa berbuat lebih banyak dengan punya kontrol yg lebih besar. apakah dengan punya jabatan yg lebih tinggi atau pendidikan yg lebih tinggi? i don't know. tp yg pasti sy ingin berbuat lebih banyak lagi khususnya setelah melihat keadaan di daerah dmn pelayanan kesehatan bisa lebih baik lagi tapi karena byk hal-infrastruktur, dana, SDM-hal ini belum bisa tercapai.

am i greedy or just being human?

all i want to see from me one year from now is that i'm doing something more. something larger. something more meaningful.

so mark this day.

dorehkar, 290609


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