last day in makassar

what i fear most now is that i won't be able to take all my stuffs with me and i will have to leave some stuffs behind. so subtle & so superficial considering i will leave possibly for good from this part of my life. the kuliah part with everything in it.

padahal all my life for the past 9 years evolves around this room-the campus-teaching hospitals-the city, so it should've meant something. many things.

gak tauk deh. mungkin karena yg paling duluan sy alami nanti adalah keberangkatan dan setelah berangkat baru terasa that i'm once again moving on. once again i leave what i've called home for the last 9 years. once again i'm out in the open again. starting all over again. looking for my own private spot in the universe.

call me exaggerating, but this is what i feel when i left utankayu for kuliah 10 years ago. and like my sweeeet childhood, i'm gonna miss my time here. the good. the bad. the happy. the sad. the ups. the downs. the bright shiny days. the cloudy-rainy days. the proud. the embarassment. EVERY LITTLE THING.

the different thing about now and 10 years is that i knew where i was going or what i was going to do, but now it's pitch black in front of me. i'm groping in the dark. where am i going or what am i going to do is still blank. i know i'm looking for a place, a new home. but where is it or how am i going to get there i have no clue.


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