Hopeless-Guilt: Don't Die on My Shift Part 2

staring at the vast ocean can make you feel....hopeless?

A patient of mine died this morning.

Well, as a medical doctor it happens every now and then despite every effort put in making sure that the patient keeps breathing.

But even then, there is nothing that can prepare you for what--to some patients eventually--is coming.

During my work as a general practitioner, I've seen few deaths--too many already--but I find that losing a patient now is still as saddening as when I was a fresh graduate doctor.

There's a sense of hopeless and guilt when I finally had to announce it to the family that their beloved one has passed away. Feels like all my years in medical school was for nothing.

Over the years, I've come up with a plan to toughen myself--to cope with the situation, so to speak--so I'll get over with it quick and get on with other patients that are still living and breathing and certainly need my help.

It doesn't always work. But there is one thing that I keep on telling myself whenever it happens: I've tried my best. I've done all that I could do. But in the end, man proposes and God disposes.
Read part one here


  1. Memang menyedihkan kalau harus menyampaikan kabar duka ke keluarga pasien. Kadang berpikir, apa sebenarnya pekerjaan dokter itu mencegah kematian atau menjadi pemberi kabar kematian?

    1. Dokter adalah pemberi harapan. We are in the business of "hope".


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